Tag Archives: designs

The Journal of Dreams 02/01/2010

THANK GOD FOR CRAFT STORES!!!

I found myself slipping on the ice driving too fast to try to get to the craft store near my home in search of acrylic flakes of hologram.  I remember thinking it’s not worth a crash but then I remembered thinking Oh yes it is!  I was fearless relying on the greatest backer of this painting to keep me safe.  I imagined God watching me drive so fast on ice to get what I needed and shaking his head with a conniving grin on his face whispering “easy boy, easy”.

The size is big enough to capture the rainbow effect I am seeking.  They are like magnified glitter chunks ranging in geometric shapes around 4mm in size.  Seemingly slightly crushed and flattened back out, the minute creases and ridges capture and hold light from all angles so that the rainbow effect is luminous!  I will use this if nothing better can be found.  I had a dream last night about aurora borealis which is the coating (rainbow effect) on rhinestone.

Hours were spent looking at some of the most magnificent rhinestone in the world.  I found myself fascinated and thinking about all kinds of designs unrelated to The Revelation Painting.  I even downloaded a program which cuts stones in various faceted shapes.  Planning ahead to be a stone cutter, I was really caught up in the beauty of it all.  I deleted that program this morning as much as I want to do so many things, I just don’t have the time.

About seven years ago I was applying for Law School and was accepted in California.  I thought I could make the porcelain dolls I dreamed of in my spare time while working fulltime and going to Law School.  I even bought the books for the first 2 semesters, expensive business suits, a new computer…I was ready!  Then I entered an art show and was accepted.  Being encouraged to have the opportunity to do paint, my true passion, I dropped Law School.

I wrote some of the biggest art galleries in New York and after 6 weeks heard back and I was accepted for an entire year in residency.  Thinking my life would change I made frivolous plans to move to Manhattan.  I planned everything out, called “reputable” movers and got quotes, budgeted my money and waited until the last day on my lease to leave.  I had gotten rid of all my furniture and made my load fit in a 14 foot truck.

I took a travel job with good pay and the housing was set up, I googled and mapquested the area, the plans, and it seemed as though it would be a smooth transition.  I had money to last us a month or so, fill the new place with food, had maps of the subway system, planned to “go green” and stop driving and polluting the air.  Everything was set up perfectly and we were excited to get on the road and start our new lives!

The mover came and the quote changed to 4 times more than what he had originally quoted.  I did not have the money for that and I was as mad as hell.  That being said, I put everything my daughter and I owned in local storage with plans to get it out within two weeks.  We stuffed the car with what would fit and headed to Manhattan.  It took 4 days driving across the country to live my dreams.  I had never been to Manhattan…that was my first mistake.

We arrived and moved into a box of an apartment, essentially a storage room set up like an Ikea magazine ad.  It is amazing that a 300sf room can be labeled a one bedroom apartment!  I knew we were in trouble.  People don’t really drive in Manhattan and if they do, they pay around $400.00 or more a month to park their car in a garage because there is no place else to park it.  We lived within walking distance of SoHo, where the gallery was that accepted my art.

Needless to say, everything went wrong.  My car was robbed, I couldn’t get to the job by driving and going under the ground in the subway system was a nightmare.  I didn’t know where I was, where I was going, if my daughter was Ok…I tried to “be strong” but found myself in the absolute worst mess I had ever gotten myself into in my life!  One evening my daughter and I walked over to the gallery.  I remember seeing a sign that said by appointment only…I sat down and cried.

I never contacted the gallery.  My art was in storage 4 days away and I could not get it and even if I could there was no place to put it, I would end up leaving it somewhere.  My dreams were shattered, I had screwed up beyond screwing up.  Two years ago I finally got back to our belongings and put them into a truck promising I would never leave them behind again.  When I saw my art I cried so hard I lost my breath.