The Journal of Dreams 02/24/2010

There was a guy on Twitter I used to speak to.  I told him about the Hemorrhage section of the painting and he wanted to know why I was angry with the church.  I told him and he does not speak to me anymore.  It made me question if I should drop this controversial section of the painting.

To help shake off the coldness from our “religious” interaction, I began to look up the candlesticks or lampstands of Scene II.  It was Exodus where I had previously found a detailed and descriptive blueprint sometime back.  I found myself reading other parts of Exodus and judgement.

I am more “religious” than I was when I began the painting and have a lot of respect or fear of the unknown.  I do not know if the bible is true and if it is, I will not make it into heaven and either will anyone I know.  Feeling that I should be conscientious of my critical judgements, I read on.

It is not difficult for me to see that I am critical of the actions and behaviors of my fellow-man.  I read about the “plank in the eye” and I imagine that I have a huge plank.  The world is filled with people who have planks in their eyes is an excuse.  I started thinking about looking at self and fixing me.

Anger is a big part of my life lately.  I am aware it is because of my judging people-simply put.  What is wrong is wrong and really it has been that way for hundreds of years and what do I realistically think I can do to change it when it all boils down to it?  Me helping me may be my best route for now.

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