Tag Archives: winter

The Journal of Dreams 02/11/2010

My neighbor complained that I smoke too much today!  The guy is a Sony “Producer” I heard, from the office staff who came over to rant and rave about his complaint.  The complaint began after two months of listening to the female in the apartment walk back and forth, all day, everyday in high heels on a hardwood floor.  I imagined her watching herself in a mirror or something, a fetish.  What other reason would a woman leave her high heels on ALL DAY and walk back and forth.  Really? 

I read somewhere that the sound of women walking in high heels was studied in malls and that people bought more when the clickety-clack sound was the loudest…funny.  It must come from childhood and teachers or something, or maybe just the nervousness of the sound of a horse walking in the indoors…who knows.

The office told me to open my windows if I wanted to smoke.  Not only is it the dead of winter, rent at this apartment is $1400.00 a month and the electric bill this past month was $440.00…sure, I’ll open the windows!

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The Journal of Dreams 02/02/2010

It is Groundhog Day today and the sun isn’t up yet.  I love winter but not when my life is unstable.  The cold and dreariness makes it difficult to step out of the house.  I haven’t worked in several days and fear of the future is wearing thin.  Often times I wonder if my life is so difficult because I seem to live it against the grain.  My motivation is sinking…not depression just tired-tired of thinking and thinking.  My mind is on an endless rollercoaster ride that never stops.  Sometimes when it is bad like this, I seek religion.  Today I will buy a medallion of St. Michael, the Archangel to protect me from negativity, to protect The Revelation Painting, and to help me shake these bad feelings of being conquered.  Believe it or not, sometimes I think about tearing up the canvases of the painting and leaving it all behind.  It must be the gypsy in me that has forever kept me moving.  It is true that a rolling stone gathers no moss.  At least if I were working, taking care of people, I would feel better.  I miss the people.