Tag Archives: time

51 minutes of India and Arabic Music


Secret #1




A long time ago, when I was still considered a child I tried to sketch what I envisioned and dreamed regarding this painting and was unable to.  Believing it just wasn’t my time, that I hadn’t yet earned the right I continued on with my life.  Although I had made bets with myself to read the entire bible, I often became discouraged because I did not understand what I was reading and still do not…mostly.  I would put the bible up and forget about it.  I had read or heard that if you simply ask for understanding, you will receive it.  I also read not to test God, but the rebel I am an have always been went ahead and tested him.  I asked for understanding.  Sometime later, I read Revelation like I always did, as an artist and not a religious person.  I got to the Four Horsemen and found my heart pounding in realization…I had earned the right, I finally understood!

Once widely used to classify races of humans and still used in Forensics and medical sciences, I find it interesting that the four primary races match the colors of the horses in overall color, (please see blog regarding the Pale Horse separate from this entry) as well as the roles the horses represent.  The terms are not used as much publicly due to the “offensive” projections people feel they create.  For this piece, I will use them for scientific and artistic purposes in order to express my theory as I see it.  All I can tell you is if you feel offended, close the blog.

Theoretically, the Caucasian-white, Australoid-red, Negroid-black, and the Mongoloid-pale (In art the lightest basic color in the color scale before white, classified as “pale”).  One could argue the “pale” theory but I am not here to argue that, I am here to express my theory as an artist, keep an open mind, continue researching the subject and make sure I have scientific evidence and proven information.  The terms are used in physical anthropology and intricate details of each skull type are used to classify the origination of various humans or the regions of the world from which they were first known to inhabit.  It is interesting information and you may not be who you think you are!

In science and through excessive research, it has been found that: Caucasoid people were/are indigenous to Europe (see European countries:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Europe), Western and South Asia, as well as a Western section of Central Asia and North Africa.

Australoid-Australoid peoples ranged throughout Australia, New Guinea, and Melanesia, as well as different parts of Oceania ,Philippines,Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, India, and the SouthernMiddle East.

Negroid are people from a Southern portion of North Africa and sub-Sahara Africa.

Mongoloid people are East and Southeast Asian, the Eastern portion of Southeast Asia, Polynesia, Far East Central Asia, Greenland, Far Eastern region of South Asia and the Americas!  (This is very significant in the story of The Four Horsemen.)

See link for geographical reference to race originations:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craniofacial_anthropometry  Please note that ALL people classified in the origin may not have an active role in the events represented by their horses’ role.

So, what does all this mean?These are the Four Horsemen of Revelation:

The White Horse-Caucasoid

The Red Horse-Australoid

The Black Horse-Negroid

The Pale Horse-Mongoloid


According to Revelation the White Horse:

“…And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer…”

EUROPEAN MAJOR WARS/Events:French Revolution 1789, Industrial Revolution-Second half of the 18th century, Russian Revolution 1917.  See:  World War II Timeline…Germany, Hitler, Soviets, etc… It is astounding information!  http://www.historyplace.com/worldwar2/timeline/ww2time.htm

And in current times the threat of The New World Order-The wealthiest most powerful bloodlines in the world. The 13 bloodlines are:

The Astor Bloodline

The Bundy Bloodline

The Collins Bloodline

The DuPont Bloodline

The Freeman Bloodline

The Kennedy Bloodline

The Li Bloodline

The Onassis Bloodline

The Reynolds Bloodline

The Rockefeller Bloodline

The Rothschild Bloodline

The Russel Bloodline

The Van Duyn Bloodline

Also as a 14th bloodline theirs a Merovingian (Merovingian – a Frankish dynasty founded by Clovis I that reigned in Gaul and Germany from about 500 to 750 bloodline) which has something to do with the European Royal Families and also 3 interconnected bloodlines,

The Disney Bloodline

The Krupp Bloodline

The McDonald Bloodline.

It appears throughout time, the Caucasian race has utilized the bow and crown given to him.Some text theorize the White Horse is the Antichrist but does not link the theory to research, although if I had to look at it in that manner, I would have to agree. If a person looked at these horses as not only races of people but the timelines and peaks of their reigns, that person could calculate events before they happen.  The times overlap yet there are definite peaks, as you will see in The Black Horse theory. Biblical years v.s current years: http://www.direct.ca/trinity/360day.html


The Red Horse-Australoid:

”…And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword…”

The focus on The Red Horses Australoid origin would obviously focus on the Middle East in current times all the way back to biblical times.  Peace has definitely been taken from the earth for a long, long time due to the discord.  The Middle East fight among themselves and indeed kill each other.

My confusion came when I thought about the American Indians and their skin colors so similar to Middle Eastern.  I thought they did fight amongst themselves and kill each other too, along with others but if they were here before “white men”, they did not fit into the Australoid origin theory.  My entire theory was shot…But then I started thinking, well then, where did they originate from?

SHOCKINGLY, this is what I surely did not expect to find: Skulls of people with Australoid morphologies have been found in the Americas, leading to speculation that people with phenotypical similarities to modern Australoids may have been the earliest occupants of the continent.  http://www.reference.com/browse/wiki/Australoid


“…and behold, a black horse, and he who sat on it had a pair of balances (scales) in his hand…”

I went over some of this material in my post regarding the Black Horse previously.  I stated as the artist, and as a human being that I felt no man in history had given so much toward equality in the world as Martin Luther King, even losing his life for it.  It was his actions which gave birth to all of the equal rights movements for so many things in current history.

For me, the balances (scales) are equality and therefore justice by weight of evidence measured.  I also noted that the rider of the Black Horse will be Martin Luther King.  The equality explosion occurred in effort to obtain equal rights for African Americans, and all people in general.  So it would center around the Negroid race.  (Please keep in mind equality was tied to women’s rights, disability rights, gay rights, etc…)



“…And behold, a pale horse, and he who sat on it, his name was Death. Hades followed with him. Authority over one fourth of the earth, to kill with the sword, with famine, with death, and by the wild animals of the earth was given to him…”

Mongoloid people are East and Southeast Asian, the Eastern portion of Southeast Asia, Polynesia, Far East Central Asia, Greenland, Far Eastern region of South Asia and surprisingly enough, the Americas!

Shocking to realize WE (Pale Americans) are the Pale Horse!

Is it coincidental that we are currently on the brink of World War III?  Is it too far fetched to think that America does not have a major role in the unsettled politics of our current times and the overall turmoil of the world?  Are we the rider named Death?



Mongoloid is featured in blue on the map.  Mongoloid’s crossed the Bering Straight into the Americas.  Migration.  Everyone originated in Africa.

The Journal of Dreams 02/13/2010

Looking forward to my daily writing about the painting, I spend time imagining what needs to be covered with in this last year.  My focus is heavier on the blogs than the paintings and that could prove a tragedy.  The year is passing faster than expected and although some of the painting was completed throughout the past 12 years, it certainly was not enough to take the remaining year’s time lightly.

My decision to work backwards in the painting appeals to me.  I had focused on The Four Horsemen to complete first because of my diversion to drawing or painting horses.  I knew it would be difficult and felt to get that part out of the way would prove to be a great motivator while trying to work full-time and paint full-time.  After completion of Scene II, I will need to work backwards and finish Scene I.

I had a slight problem trying to work out Scene I entitled Jesus and John due to the simple fact that John was not visible because he was in “the spirit” which made the scene odd.  If someone were to look at it who did not know it was of Revelation and looked for John, they would be confused.  So finally after all this time, the answer became clear of how to fix the problem.

The “spirit”…there have been documented “sightings” of spirits mainly through Orbs.  Initially I was going to make a blurry circle of mist and still may do something similar.  But although an Orb looks more like a ball of light, the light is reserved for God in Scene II.  I cannot give the delegation of light to anyone but God, especially as close as they are located to one another in the painting.

So, John will appear similar to a cloud in a sphere shape.  Whiter around the edges and translucent within,  as I had learned when I taught myself how to paint clear balloons sometime back.  The effect of seeing what is behind him, through him will be a neat one.  There are 3 canvases, the left end of the painting to complete after Scene II is done, leaving 19 (some partially completed) to go!

The Journal of Dreams 02/05/2010

This is what I have discovered about my health and the entry from yesterday.  There was a “Life Stress Scale” I learned about in nursing school.  Things which cause major life stresses are marriage, death, moving, divorce and a new job, and secondary stressors are diets, quitting smoking or other addictions, financial problems (if not major), buying a home, car, etc…  I am starting a new job in 10 days so it is not wise to change my life in a way that I have control over like dieting and quitting smoking.

I will start the job and give it 2-4 weeks, I am very adaptable.  Then I will start the diet for 2-4 weeks, then attempt to quit smoking.  In the interim, I will subtly decrease calories and start drinking water.  Sometimes I despise water although we as humans are 70% water.  I have never really understood my diversion of water when it is so important.  Slowly increasing it by drinking a bottle a day, then two, until I am at a minimum of 4 a day (20oz) is good.  Historically I have been known to jump from the frying pan into the flames so I will be conscious of change.

Today I cheated a little on the painting and jumped to Scene V-The Devil.  It is said that he was a beautiful angel, a dragon, serpent, so I definitely know he had/has wings and he is “beautiful”.  I had started him long ago with his seven heads and ten horns.  The halting of my progress was trying to discover how 10 horns fit one 7 heads and which heads are affected.  I still have not figured that out.  When I have problems with the painting I try to dream of the solutions.  Long ago I dreamed that 3 heads were larger and primary and had 2 horns each.

This has become a waste of very expensive paint.  How I originally painted The Devil was by placing dabs of Golden (the most expensive paints) Acrylic approximately 6mm high.  After time I developed a strategy where a certain amount of time passed where the paint became almost dry and I would smash the dabs as flat as they would go.  When they flattened, they would be about 2mm-3mm high and irregular in shape resembling lizard skin.  It was perfect and an exciting technique for the texture of the serpent or dragon.

I had even learned to shadow the dragon by placing 1/2 red and 1/2 brown in a single dab which caused a darker and lighter side to each “scale” of his skin.  Currently there is an estimated $800.00 worth of paint creating what is completed.  The wastefulness is the change I am contemplating although I may be able to save much of what has been created.  It is the color (of all things) I am thinking of changing.  The good thing is red and green make brown and the brown is determined by the ratios.  Changing from red to green may not be too harsh because of brown.

The heads were like snakes but now I want them to look more like dragons, powerful with flared out necks like a raptor dinosaur.  The image is fresh in my mind but the transition is not.  Definite sketches will have to be done in order not to waste the paint already used. It is estimated that nearly $2000.00 or more will be required to created this “beautiful” beast.  It seems ironic that of any character in the painting, he will need the most attention which is typical of his attributes and somehow expected.  It will be interesting to see the outcome.

The Journal of Dreams 01/25/2010

I have worked on the Scene II God sketches and am finding some problems.  I had originally planned to make a fiber optically lit area which concentrated in about a 3 foot area dissipating over approximately 5 feet to the left and 6 feet to the right.  The problem is that I did not consider placement of the Four Living Creatures or the effect of where the 24 elders would be.  The scene is further complicated by the 7 candlesticks or the one candlestick with 7 candles in it.

I had planned to make the light the center focus but to do that, the frame of the wooden canvases (built to hold the fiber optic cables, with doors on the backs).  The wooden canvases are being made and will have to be used as originally planned.  The key is to shrink the core size of the bulk of the light and make it widely scattered as it comes off the core.  Holes will have to be drilled through art which is already completed.  There is a big risk to this plan.

I could jeopardize the finished work by drilling through it, or drill first, but then I would have to work around the finished work.  That, to me causes far more problems than completing it then drilling.  I am considering using the color wheel, pastel fiber optics in the scattered holes away from the core.  Then the changing color will take away from the loss of light from not drilling through the frames and decreasing the canvases integrity.

The Four Living Creatures will have so many eyes that pupils and holes will be difficult to distinguish since that part of the painting is up around 10 feet from the viewers direct vision, which is an asset in this section.  The drilled holes of light do not actually need to be through the creatures but the effect of “being in God’s light” is important I feel to show that these creatures are a significant part of God as they are with him at his throne.

The 24 elders (priest) are undecided  at this time.  I am thinking to making them somewhat blurry from the light of God and not detailed, just the likeness of 24 men.  The 2nd part of the painting; Truth-The Hemorrhage of Pigs! also poses another problem.  With thermochromics, the rule is “the thinner, the better” and with the clear to red it is imperative not to have any thicker areas because it will remain pink.  Red is a hard pigment to work with.

To solve this problem, I was thinking about very thin plexiglass since thermochromics have to be replaced (washed off and re-coated) around 1-2 times a year.  If the plexiglass was removable, it would be a much simpler task and re=coating would be easier as well.  The plexiglass would be thin enough not to add width to the painting and make it seem uniform.  I will have to get the plexiglass cut in a custom drip pattern to appear as though blood is running down.

What I imagined to be a simple and fast scene has truly become very complicated.  This scene is most likely the most important of the entire painting.  It moves and is brightly lit, and it bleeds.  I will also be using the crushed rainbow quartz, the glitters of “diamond dust”, hologram and plain white.  This scene will need the strongest sealer I can find due to the wear and tear and the elements used to create it.  I am always focused on the painting’s ability to withstand the test of time.

The Journal of Dreams 01/22/2010

Da Vinci was a brilliant man and a trickster apparently.  I think he spent a lot of time amusing himself.  Definitely he was ahead of his time.  That is what I am wondering about today.  Why are some people “ahead” of their times?  There is a simple philosophy I discovered some time ago when I tried to understand the who, what, when, where and how of us as human beings.  What I came up with was that we are products of all of our interactions and experiences.  How could we be more than that if we never experienced it or learned it?  In DaVinci’s case it was imagination which allowed him to cross the boundaries of technology, to create flying machines in his mind and apply them to paper.  Of course he had to have some understanding of flight and gravity as well as other understanding of the things he built.

What about poets who write about things they have not experienced and the use of words that they never have used and do not know what they mean?  Where did that come from?  I wonder about the transition between life and death.  Just because we do not physically see a body anymore when someone dies, does that mean that they are not here with us?  What I have learned as a trauma nurse is that a body is a heavy burden to carry.  It only houses our spirit and our soul.  Even from the day we are born, this physical body is heavy for us regardless of its weight.  Imagine if your spirit was a fleeting light which darted from place to place too fast for the human eye to catch it?  It seems right when talking about the bright light of God and that we were created in his image doesn’t it?  Haven’t you ever seen something from the corner of your eye only to turn and it is gone?

What if that is a spirit that our physical bodies aren’t fast enough to keep up with and that our physical brains chalk up to impossible because it does not have the capability to understand it, something like a self-preservation mode.  If it seems illogical, then the brain rejects it.  What is that we see from the corner of our eye?  Also, if you have ever noticed that when you are extremely tired, it is then that those things become more clear.  Sometimes when I am exhausted, when I wake up for the first few minutes when I move my arms, it is like a trail of arms because the mind cannot keep up with the movement.  It is like drawing a picture which changes ever so slightly on the page corners of a book.  When you fold the pages back and let it flip, it creates a movie.

Our brain may be fast enough when it is rested, but what when it is tired?  Do we see the individual pieces which make the whole picture?  How do I not know at this very moment, that there aren’t spirits surrounding me watching me work?  Just because I cannot see it, it does not mean that it isn’t so.  How do we know that DaVinci didn’t sketch those flying machines through a guided hand of a spirit?  We do not.  Often times people say I think too much.  They are only seeing the waking part of my thinking.  If they saw the sleeping part of my thinking (my dreams), they would wonder how I survive at all!  How do we know that we are not someone reincarnated?  How do we know that we do not come back over and over just to experience all the things we didn’t understand the first time around?  Where does Deja vu come from?

Circle of Seven

 Would it be marvelous to save this old and weary soul?

 Shadows dance aimlessly toward its demise. Visionless of what we have and limitless in belief it will never end, we seem to anticipate a brighter explosion of tomorrow through darkness of yesterday’s eyes.

 Mumbling voices echo, hit their knees for the first time. Prayer trickles through empty corridors as a soul begs to be set free. Physical limitations crushing, override the spirit. So it creeps in, this thing called destiny.

 No sadness lingers at lifetime’s edge, no mystery unraveled, or story to tell. Only the tempting call of affirmation and worth when ones standing are left behind, as the soul rises from its heavy shell.

 Shadows move closer to graciously accept, the soul dances weightless within the heaven-bound circle of seven. Rejoicing tears splash on earth mimicking soft rain as the old, weary soul travels gently toward heaven.

The Journal of Dreams 01/03/2010

I work at night, thirteen hours in a very fast paced and busy emergency room.  I have been a nurse longer than I have been a painter.  Sadness overwhelms me often times when caring for sick people.  There was a time in my life when I had no respect for life, drove my car 168 miles an hour, tested destiny and lived like there was no tomorrow.  It was during that time I attempted to sketch The Revelation Painting several times and finally came to the solid conclusion that I had not earned the right.

After becoming a nurse I went straight into the critical care and emergency areas.  It was high paced, high stress, and in dealing with life and death on a daily basis, after five years my respect for life changed.  I found myself telling people how stupid it was to drive a car over the speed limit.  Images of torn and broken bodies were stamped into my memories and I had become a changed person.  It was also during this time I began having episodes where I would go blind for 30 minutes at a time.

Stress was taking a toll on me.  The blindness was induced by migraines without the immediate pain, at least until the next day where 1/2 of my brain felt as though it had been crushed!  During this time I began to gain weight and my signature even changed.  When a person’s signature changes, it is considered a major life event.  I had not even thought about The Revelation Painting for several years, favoring writing poetry, learning to paint independently and planning to publish a book.

The truth of the matter was that I knew Nursing was not what I wanted to grow old doing.  I began searching for a way out.  I thought that travel nursing would give me an opportunity to find a place where I felt at home as a nurse, where I could back off of the high stress, go back to school and move forward instead of breaking my back, not sleeping well, smoking more, not managing my finances, essentially living like a life-saving zombie.  I was saving everyone but killing myself.

At work one night I was in a hurry and didn’t know how to use a piece of equipment.  I was taking care of a full blown, dying HIV patient and through my own ignorance ran a needle full of blood all the way up my index finger.  It did not penetrate my finger but I was closer to dying than ever in my careless life and I recognized it.  I came home and when I went to bed, I prayed and thanked God for the first time in my life that day.

When I woke up the memories of Revelation were fresh on my mind for the first time in a long, long time.  I saw the creatures with eyes all over their wings clearer than I ever had.  I sat down and sketched them and they were perfect!  That was the awakening of a sleeping dream and when the painting rekindled the passion for it in my heart.  Beginning to look ahead and into the future, I began working on plans for the painting.  I had finally earned the right and I knew it.

The Journal of Dreams-The Finale’

Today marks the twelfth year of the making of The Revelation Painting.  The official website goes up today and there have been countless hours spent looking forward and preparing for today.  I cannot believe today is here!  Although it is exciting, it is scary as well.  Today the realization hit me that it is serious now, more serious than it had been for these twelve years.  My mission is now etched in concrete and I alone am the master of its destiny.  What will it be like to awaken to the painting away from me a year from now, for the first time as it travels the world?  Like a child leaving home for the first time, I know it will sicken me.  What will it be like to go to sleep and not see the visions of what to paint tomorrow?

Time and creation is an odd thing for the human psyche.  This painting has become a part of me, my companion that I have toted with me for a lifetime.  Panic has not set in yet as I continue to enjoy the time I have to make this painting come alive.  I wonder if Michelangelo felt this way when he had to let go of his most magnificent works…forever?  Although I planned for the painting to travel to world with its messages, the world seems like a very huge place now and in the light of recent events globally, what if the turmoil of a country had a direct impact on the survival of the painting?  I just keep imagining pieces of the painting scattered among the ruins of a once vibrant city…an artist’ imagination.

Let me live for today and not let my imagination spoil my dreams.  Today will be spent with constant updating of social pages to increase the flow of people, awareness of the painting and to create a following.  I had run ads for a marketer who would work in their spare time (currently without pay), to promote the painting but received no response.  I can understand that simply because it is not their dream.  I imagine the value of the painting will soar and we could have made an arrangement.  Nevertheless, I will market it as best I can and try to build a network, offer incentives and maybe even ownership of pieces of the painting for a limited time.  That way people who are in need, will receive but not as charity.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life and yesterday is gone forever.  There are many things to do, many plans to make, secrets and mysteries to blend into the painting and time continues to tick forward.  Life truly passes in the blink of an eye, and before I know it, this year will end and it would seem as though a dream.  I am up for the challenge and will consciously acknowledge everyday, several times a day so that it does not pass in the blink of an eye for me.  It is important to become organized and follow a strategic plan, to have goals and meet them, evaluate and reevaluate.  Today I will create a mission statement and follow it, I will look at the painting as not just art but as a business.