Tag Archives: murder

The Journal of Dreams 01/23/2010

I was just thinking about calling my mother…she’s dead.  She died in 2006 unexpectantly.  I don’t know how many times I thought about calling her since then.  The day she died, I was living in Philadelphia and had been sick for 2 days, the flu or something and really bad laryngitis.  Feeling as though I couldn’t sleep anymore, and got up to start painting a picture for my daughter; the one I promised her for the past several years.  There was a specific photo of her I had in mind where she was wearing a velvet, olive-green, 1940’s short hat-the kind that just sits on the top of the head without sides and has mesh over the eyes to the lips.

I had started with the lips because I knew the detail of the mesh would be hard to do without messing it up.  Her painted red lips where a stark contrast to the olive-green of her eyes and the hat.  About 3/4 of the way through the lips I realized it was not that photo I had painted, it was someone else’s lips.  I continued to paint thinking I will paint my daughter’s painting after finishing this stranger I had found myself mysteriously painting.  I started thinking about the lips my mother used to put on napkins and give to us as children by pressing her painted lips against the soft paper.  They were kisses that were captured forever on the napkin that we could keep in our drawers, or books, or any place we wanted-forever.

The lips had evolved into almost the entire canvas, not leaving room for any other parts of the face.  I remember sitting there, smoking a cigarette, looking at the lips when the phone rang.  It was my father and he said:  “I don’t want you to crack up or anything but your mother is dead.”  I just kept saying:  “I know, I know, I know.”  I didn’t cry or feel shock.  I don’t remember what we said next, I just remember staring at the lips I had just painted.  Sometime after we hung up I realized I had starred at the lips for a while, wondering if my mother suffered at all and what exactly happened.  Then I realized I had been painting her lips at the moment she died…the kiss on the napkin that got bigger and bigger.

She was telling me goodbye through the skill that she had taught me, to paint.  She knew my great passion for painting and how more appropriate could it have been?  I named the painting:  MARY ANN’S LAST KISS and it rest comfortably in my private collection along with the other very special paintings which were given to me as gifts although painted by my hand.  Holy Mary is one-read about her on the home page and how she came to be at:  www.therevelationpainting.com.  The world is odd, things that happen are odd and I love these mysteries.  I miss my mother but know that she had a promise to fulfill for the time she was given.  If there is a God, he would not have let her leave if he thought she would not return.  She had an angel’s work to do.

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The Journal of Dreams 01/17/2010

The snow is falling today.  When I got off work this morning there were frosted snowflakes on the windows of my car.  While I waited for the car to warm up, I took pictures of them with my cell phone.  The colors where sparkling blues, greens, yellows, oranges, just about every color of the rainbow.  Although I was freezing and tired, it wasn’t too much to sit for 10 minutes trying to capture the sparkle and magic of it all.  I think that is otherwise known as “smelling the roses”.

I studied the amazing natural designs and stunning details.  The colors were what I imagined God to be in The Revelation Painting.  The closest thing I know to that effect is hologram glitter.  It has every color of the rainbow within it.  Diamonds of course have that effect to but are not only out of my reach, I do not think I would give diamond thieves the satisfaction even if I had the money for them.  Search blood diamonds and see the stories.

I will be moving the 4 canvases down today and replacing them with 4 wooden canvases and start working on God.  I imagine this morning inspired me to start working on it.  I was going to work in the other direction since some of the work on those canvases was done long ago.  Maybe it is a better approach to work from start to finish in the direction of the painting, as I have already seen that the black horse is bigger than my original sketch and measurements in The Journal of Measures.

The need to sleep is overwhelming almost every time I try to paint.  I have set goals and am forcing myself to paint even if I do not think I can.  In effort to get relief, I built a page into the website called GIVE/TAKE where not only did I list the things needed to complete the painting, but I listed avenues for corporate sponsorship.  Hopefully someone will take an interest in the painting and support me enough to allow for restful painting instead of fatigued painting.  I am prepared either way.