Tag Archives: life

The Journal of Dreams 03/14/2010

RED and the Hummingbird

It is an odd thing, life.  Never had I liked the color red much in my younger years, it was not until my older years that red best suited my need for various expression.  In The Revelation Painting, it has grown into the passion and life’s blood of the painting itself.  I found a wealth of information regarding color and the effects it has on our psychological understanding, or feelings and the impact it has that often times we are unaware of.

In researching red in business matters, I wanted to see why the Hummingbird was attracted to the red color.  I found that it is because the color shades they can see are green and red. And since most of their surroundings are green (trees) the red stands out to them.  Then I thought about business, people in general and know that often times people are overwhelmed by life and their minds mute their environment making the red attractive.

When a person is attracted to the seductive red color, maybe they cannot see the dangers or “the big picture” because the red dominates their passion and desires.  When this happens, a psychological happiness occurs and the person is left vulnerable…under the spell of red.  Walking around in a world hypnotized under a seductive “spell” could prove less than favorable and against the very grain of existence.  Remember business is a predator, it wants you!

Color Meanings in Business

 Understanding color meanings in business is essential when you are establishing a business profile. Color psychology affects our lives in so many ways, yet we often don’t realize the impact of our color choices on our website colors, on our stationery and packaging, in our retail store or office, in our marketing or our business clothing. Color has a powerful subconscious effect on every part of our lives, without even saying a word; an understanding of color meanings in business gives us an invaluable tool to get the best response to our marketing and promotional efforts and ultimately to create a successful business.

In applying the information about color meanings in business to enhance your own business profile and marketing, don’t use any color entirely on its own; it is always best to use a complementary color with your main choice as over-use of any one color can negate its effect and in fact have the opposite effect.

There is almost always more than one option of color combinations to assist your business, so you don’t have to choose any color that you do not like or resonate to. Or you may use the disliked color in a very small amount to get the response you want from your customer. For example, you may use just a very small amount of red to indicate your passion or energy for your business or as a call to action button on your website. Read all the information on each color in this ‘color meanings in business’ section to determine the best choices for your business.

Red: color meanings in business

Red is a warm and positive color, a very physical color which draws attention to itself and calls for action to be taken.

In color psychology red means energy, passion, action, strength and excitement.

Red stimulates the physical senses such as the appetite, lust and sexual passion. Although it is often used to express love, it really relates more to sexual passion and lust – pink relates more to romantic love than red.

Red represents masculine energy, whereas its softer version, pink, is associated with feminine energy.

Red, a universal sign of danger and warning, can also show and create aggressiveness and anger, particularly if used to excess in the wrong applications.

Physiologically, red stimulates and energizes the physical body, including the nerves and the circulation of blood, raising blood pressure and heart rate. It is stimulating to the appetite and therefore a great color to use for any product associated with food and its service, including restaurants and take-away businesses.

Red excites and motivates but in excess it can cause anxiety and tiredness. It also has negative connotations associated with blood, war and violence.

The color which most complements and balances red is turquoise, although green or blue will also create balance.

Key Words:

Positive Color Meanings in Business:

  • action, power, energy, speed
  • passion, desire, lust
  • strength, courage
  • attention-getting, motivating, stimulating, energizing
  • driven and determined
  • exciting, warm, spontaneous, assertive and confident

Negative Color Meanings in Business:

  • aggression and anger
  • domineering, over-bearing and tiring
  • quick-tempered, ruthless, fearful and intolerant
  • rebellious and obstinate
  • resentful, violent and brutal

Using Red in Business:

Often used as a warning sign, red is best used as an accent color as too much red can overwhelm.

Red will always elicit a passionate response but the response may be either positive or negative and you may have no control over this response as it will be in the hands of your potential customer.

Red encourages buyers to take action and make a purchase. For example, it could be used to tempt an impulse buy at the purchase counter in your store, as footprints or arrows directing people around your store or to your cash register, or for a ‘buy now’ button on a website.

A touch of red can be used as one of the colors on your website to indicate your energy and passion for your business. In larger amounts it is effective in the promotion of products or services related to food and appetite, energy, passion or speed.

http://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/color-meanings-in-business.html

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The Journal of Dreams 02/12/2010

Started working on the Journal of Sketches some today to try to figure out these Four Living Creatures and their placement in the painting.  For sure, I will change the colors of the wings in each creature.  I am afraid my boredom will get in the way of progress.  I keep the canvas for Babylon near by just in case.  There is a lot of intricate work to do on that scene.

I was thinking a lot about my father today.  He is old now, 82.  I see a lot of people his age dying and I will miss him terribly.  He has been a major resource for me with the technical side of the painting, but moreover my life.  How many times do we think in our lives:  “I wish I would have spent more time with them?”  There is nothing keeping me from that really, just the risk of being trapped.

One time we were talking about “Cowboys”.  Since he was raised poor and on country music, he see’s a Cowboy as a rebel, a loner, and they have a good heart but a restless spirit.  I guess I see them that way too.  I told him I was going to get a red tattoo in block letters on my bicep that said:  COWBOY.  He laughed and said that I was a Cowboy.

Somehow I felt that I was going to cry because in that moment I realized that he does have some understanding of me if he knew that I considered myself as a Cowboy and that when he looked into my eyes as a baby, he must have known it then and that what I thought was “treating me bad”, was actually him teaching me what I would need to survive.  He must have known some Cowboys in his life.

The Journal of Dreams 02/08/2010

Tired but happy I have a job and able to pay the bills.  The last 6 months of 2009 was bad for nursing work believe it or not which put me behind.  It is a wake up call for me to realize that even the people who know how to save a life are not really guaranteed work.  Too many times in the past year I have been close to homeless.  I figure I am earning the last part of this struggle through life in a hard way.  There are two reasons for it.  My education was most certainly through the School of Hard Knocks.  I have always been that way for me; resistant and rebellious.

The second reason was brought to light by my old father when he told me one time:  “Never forget your raisens,”  Which translated means “never forget where you came from no matter where you go in life or what you do.”  I have forgotten that before but not for a long time and often I have said truthfully that I lived better, had more control of my life and finances, and felt happier working at McDonald’s.  I knew when I worked, what would happen, what I would do, when I got off and when I got paid.  Often times I thought about going back to a job where I had time for the people. 

It seems hard to believe for the average bear but when you make more money, your life changes and you need more money and when you get paid daily, you really get screwed up because there is always some money in your pocket unless there is no work.  So the money you spend the day before frivolously, just might be the money you need to pay the light bill.  And for the back to the people part of it, being a nurse is like herding cattle.  You do not feed the sick and weary souls or your own soul, you feed the machine.

So why don’t I take a full-time job after 17 years?  Well it all started 17 years ago when I went on a quest to find a home, a job where I would feel happy and make friends…a life.  Seventeen years later and so many cities I lost count (maybe 200 or more), I still haven’t found a home.  I work hard, I do what is right, I am a team player and will break my back to do what need to be done but I cannot tolerate the bullshit of it all, blatant disrespect or one thriving off the others, like the machine.

When I went to nursing school, just as it is now, you are taught that it is a professional and respectful career.  If only one nurse or instructor had told me the truth of the matter, I may have been a doctor (although it is not much better than nursing), but most likely a lawyer.  My life would have been totally different.  Two years after I became a nurse I looked into medical school.  I had a plan to work in the mountains of West Virginia and provide healthcare to the poor by house calls and be paid by whatever they could afford. 

Before I became a nurse, I was shy, smiled all the time and my face turned red when I talked to people.  Now my face turns red in anger, I never smile, everything tears me up that deals with abuse of the system, the country, the people of the world.  It is my fault but I was a first generation college student, excited to find out I wasn’t as “stupid” as I thought I was and realized I had a chance.  It was one of the times I jumped from the frying pan into the fire without making an informed decision or evaluating my options.  It was all on me to figure it out.

Maybe the anger comes with growing up, but somehow I don’t believe that.  Maybe it is post traumatic stress disorder…I have seen a lot of real life things that belonged on Hellraiser or some other horror flick.  I work 13-15 hours (including to/from work), take an hour or so to go to sleep and chronically am deprived of sleep.  I know I don’t eat right, sometimes not at all in a 12.5 hour shift, just drinking Mountain Dew (a lot of nurses drink Mountain Dew, it is funny how they made “Code Red”…similar name to Code Blue)…Well, seven days until the new job starts.

The Journal of Dreams 02/06/2010

My endeavor was and is to write everyday this last year of the painting to show how life and work; dreams and goals are affected by everyday life.  Today this is the effect:  I received a call from the new manager allowing me to work as an agency nurse to make some money before I start the job to catch up on the bills already due.  Agency allows next day or rapid pay, so what hours I work today are paid to me tomorrow, therefore I can pay the bills.  Once I start the job, I do not get paid for 2 weeks, so life and work is  a priority.  The next few days will be sparse for writing because work starts today!

The Journal of Dreams 02/04/2010

Self evaluation has been on my mind lately.  I am getting old and since I work in healthcare, it is easily seen how diseases eat away at life.  Lately I have felt very fatigued which I contribute to smoking too many cigarette really.  When I am at home smoking is far more than at work.  At work, I smoke 3 cigarettes in 12 hours, maybe 4, but at home, I smoke a pack and sometimes two throughout the day when I am off.  Working or not, a carton of cigarettes are smoked a week, sometimes more.

Also, I am heavy, too heavy for a healthy body.  Although I do not think my cholesterol is high due to limited red meat intake, I am fat.  My job is very stressful.  That being said, there is one more thing.  I am female and am reaching the age where menopause starts.  For a woman, when menopause occurs important hormones end which protect us from heart disease.  Since heart disease is prevalent in my family, I now have a higher risk of death!

So I have four critical risk factors that are certainly killers.  It is time to make some changes.  It would be hell to complete this painting after all these years and fall over dead.  Just as I have made plans for this painting, essentially it has taught me a form of discipline by following through on goals in certain timeframes.  It is important to make certain goals for extending my life because now, I am a “dead man walking” and I am quite positive that is a fact.

Today I am not painting or working on the journals.  I am writing this blog then setting a course for victory against an adversary, what my mother called “the boogeyman”.  She told me a long time ago that he was after me which was quite disturbing but I looked at it with the typical:  “Yea sure, that happens to other people” attitude.  I’ve seen enough to know that if it isn’t you or the guy down the street, it is me…I am the other person.

I used to be quite athletic.  I was the pitcher for my softball team, used to run like the wind and was the fullback on the soccer team.  I won the trophy in high school for arm wrestling and beating everyone, male and female.  I was the greatest tomboy and fearless.  Not to admit to ever breaking the law, I could say that one time “I dreamt of driving a car 168 miles an hour”…;)  That would have been a foolish thing to do.  There is a value on life and today I will acknowledge it.

The Journal of Dreams 01/09/2010

There are many things I still need to complete the painting.  I wrote movie stars, corporations, churches and the response was ZERO!  I really do not expect a response anymore and as I stated before, I am not religious but I am learning to make my own decisions.  I suppose how we treat each other is what is ailing me, how our priorities are about “me” and to hell with the rest of the world!  When did all of this happen?  Working in the inner city trauma centers, it is easy to feel as though everyday is a battle.  The moment you step through the door, you are at war!  Yet people think that it is a privilege for someone to save your life when it is the other way around.  This country has lost the simple humbleness of human nature.  

I did something the other day after seventeen years as a nurse that I never thought I would do.  When a patient demanded that I give her morphine because she ran out of money for her heroine.  I thought:  “Who does she think she is?”  She doesn’t work, drains the system, my taxes pays for her addiction, her ambulance rides, her entire life!  She demands drugs, treats people like shit, calls us cunts and whores, so I asked her:  “Do you need morphine?”  She said:  “YES, you stupid fuck.”  I said:  “Your realize I can do that for you-right?”  Her eyes went down, she knew she had overstepped the invisible boundary.  I continued…I said:  “I can save your life, YOUR LIFE!  What can you do for me?”  She started crying and I walked away.  The doctor didn’t give her morphine and she put her clothes on and went to the next hospital.  

Like these medical shows where people make a million dollars an episode to act like us, yet we can save their lives!  What about the athletes who make millions and we can save their lives too.  Look at all the actors and musicians who are dead from drug overdoses.  Could it be that they have just a little too much money and needed something to spend it on…I mean really, how many things can you buy a Saks’ Fifth Avenue before there is nothing left to buy…really?  

Who thought Tiger Woods was a saint-you?  I know I surely didn’t!  A sex fiend with so much money he doesn’t know what to do with it!  Do you have enough money to pay your rent for 6 months if something happened to you?  What about a year if you needed to?  That is the problem, you have enough today so you go watch a $15.00 movie and line the pockets of someone who DOES NOT give a damn about you.  America makes icons of dope addicts just because they have talent that appeals to them, is there not more to life?  

Profound inspiration exist in a world not so far from your own!  

Pulitzer Prize Photo-Kevin Carter (photographer) who at 33 committed suicide

 

I believe that America is the great whore in Revelation.  When You read it, New York City and other equivalent cities come to mind and those cities have something in common.  New York is the money capital of America, even Wall Street is there.  The Statue of Liberty (having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication).  I spent my life walking around blind with 20/20 vision, and finally I am beginning to see!  

http://www.essortment.com/all/statueoflibery_rnvz.htm  

Originally the Statue of Liberty meant freedom, a safe harbor for all who would come to America, but over time she has become the icon for nonetheless, true filth and abominations of the earth compared to the time of her origination.  It was not meant to be this way.  I watched a show, something about the Free Masons and a murder and the symbols behind the Statue of Liberty.  

http://www.google.com/search?q=free+masons+statue+of+liberty&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-Address&ie=&oe=  

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&rls=com.microsoft%3Aen-us%3AIE-Address&q=free+masons+statue+of+liberty+murder&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=  

It is not a human being described, it is what the city stands for:  

The “great whore”, of the biblical book of Revelation is featured in chapters 17 and 18.  Many passages define symbolic meanings inherent in the text.  

17:4 And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication:
17:5 And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.
17:6 And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration.
17:9 And here is the mind which hath wisdom. The seven heads are seven mountains, on which the woman sitteth [King James Version; the New International Version Bible uses “hills” instead of “mountains”].   

From wikipedia:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statue_of_Liberty
…it has been claimed that the seven spikes or diadem atop of the crown epitomize the Seven Seas and seven continents  

17:10 And there are seven kings: five are fallen, and one is, and the other is not yet come; and when he cometh, he must continue a short space.
17:11 And the beast that was, and is not, even he is the eighth, and is of the seven, and goeth into perdition.
17:12 And the ten horns which thou saw are ten kings, which have received no kingdom as yet; but receive power as kings one hour with the beast.
17:15 And he saith unto me, The waters which thou sawest, where the whore sitteth, are peoples, and multitudes, and nations, and tongues.
17:18 And the woman which thou sawest is that great city, which reigneth over the kings of the earth.  

The Journal of Dreams 01/08/2010

There is no time to do much before work except smoke cigarettes, drink coffee, and stare at the black horse.  I think he has way too much hair and the major screw up here is that the hair crosses over all four canvases right at their joints (the cross in the middle where they all connect).  That means I have to apply the hair across all four canvases and make sure it is totally dry, then cut it so very straight between the canvases.  If the edge where the hair is becomes rubbed on something, it will rip off.  What a horrid mistake!

I called my old father and we had a conversation about it.  Life really makes people wise (sometimes).  He can always think of an answer.  One day I’ll pick up the phone to call him for an answer and he won’t be there anymore, just like my mother who died in 2006.  I don’t know how many times I thought about picking up the phone and calling her.  Ironically she died because she received a double dose of insulin in a place where she should have been safe.  I was the only one who did not attend her funeral, I could not trust myself.  The anger was too strong.

It could be a moment of wondering if I had it all to do over again, what would I change but I cannot think that I would change much.  Self preservation blankets me and I avoid relationships, friends, family, or anything which has the ability to destroy me.  When I paint this painting I wonder if my mother was the nurturing vessel which brought me to this point in life.  Evaluating her life, I do not know of any other achievement that could top it.  Am I her destiny and what it was all for?

There are a lot of skeletons in our families closets, a lot of damage was done and time healed some of the wounds.  I have 4 novels I have worked on about these skeletons.  When I write, my grand imagination lets me see it like a movie in my mind.  I feel the warm, summer night air, smell the neighborhood, hear the music and see the moon glisten in the distance.  Pulling from memories is a wonderful thing in creation, like the Interference Blue’s mimic of moonlight…wonderful.

All my life, as far back as I can remember there was a silent traveler with me which as an adult I called: A Sense of Sadness.  When I was 32 my mother handed me a book of poetry I wrote when I was 12 and every poem in it was about death or dying.  It was a shocking Revelation for me because I had wondered often times when the sadness really began and why.  I couldn’t believe it had been at that early of an age and to have written about it then, it originated earlier.

In analyzing how I could have possibly known anything about death at that age, I could not remember any instance.  No one near me had died, none of my friends family members had died and to this day, I still cannot remember how it started.  The similarity of my mother dying at 12 and returning to tell the tale made me wonder about dreams, memories and how we protect ourselves from psychological pain by forgetting.  I wonder…

The Journal of Dreams 01/03/2010

I work at night, thirteen hours in a very fast paced and busy emergency room.  I have been a nurse longer than I have been a painter.  Sadness overwhelms me often times when caring for sick people.  There was a time in my life when I had no respect for life, drove my car 168 miles an hour, tested destiny and lived like there was no tomorrow.  It was during that time I attempted to sketch The Revelation Painting several times and finally came to the solid conclusion that I had not earned the right.

After becoming a nurse I went straight into the critical care and emergency areas.  It was high paced, high stress, and in dealing with life and death on a daily basis, after five years my respect for life changed.  I found myself telling people how stupid it was to drive a car over the speed limit.  Images of torn and broken bodies were stamped into my memories and I had become a changed person.  It was also during this time I began having episodes where I would go blind for 30 minutes at a time.

Stress was taking a toll on me.  The blindness was induced by migraines without the immediate pain, at least until the next day where 1/2 of my brain felt as though it had been crushed!  During this time I began to gain weight and my signature even changed.  When a person’s signature changes, it is considered a major life event.  I had not even thought about The Revelation Painting for several years, favoring writing poetry, learning to paint independently and planning to publish a book.

The truth of the matter was that I knew Nursing was not what I wanted to grow old doing.  I began searching for a way out.  I thought that travel nursing would give me an opportunity to find a place where I felt at home as a nurse, where I could back off of the high stress, go back to school and move forward instead of breaking my back, not sleeping well, smoking more, not managing my finances, essentially living like a life-saving zombie.  I was saving everyone but killing myself.

At work one night I was in a hurry and didn’t know how to use a piece of equipment.  I was taking care of a full blown, dying HIV patient and through my own ignorance ran a needle full of blood all the way up my index finger.  It did not penetrate my finger but I was closer to dying than ever in my careless life and I recognized it.  I came home and when I went to bed, I prayed and thanked God for the first time in my life that day.

When I woke up the memories of Revelation were fresh on my mind for the first time in a long, long time.  I saw the creatures with eyes all over their wings clearer than I ever had.  I sat down and sketched them and they were perfect!  That was the awakening of a sleeping dream and when the painting rekindled the passion for it in my heart.  Beginning to look ahead and into the future, I began working on plans for the painting.  I had finally earned the right and I knew it.