The Journal of Dreams 03/05/2010

Although I am off today, I got up earlier than usual, or than I has to.  I have a bad obsession with losing time; the time that I have to enjoy life or do the things I want to do with the time I have.  It is a terrible thing, like an obsessive compulsive disorder where I get up and feel miserable all day.  Most likely if I had stayed sleeping just one more hour, the day would be brighter and I would have energy.

I’ve been up since 4:30am and it is 2pm and I have done nothing but smoke a lot of cigarettes and drink the coffee I have waited to wake me up…stupid.  I am going to lay back down regretfully to try to awaken and feel as though I am enjoying this time I have…

It is 7:35pm and although I tried to stay sleeping, the constant feeling of wasting this day off made me bolt out of bed.  I am sitting here smoking and drinking coffee, feeling like crap.  I ended up right where I began and ended only to begin again…what a waste of time.

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